The English Zone

Por Lara Vaquero

                     

Famous Quotes

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever”

-Miss Alabama in the 1994, Miss USA contest.

 

“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kinds all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”

-Mariah Carey

 

“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.”

-Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for the Federal Anti-smoking Campaign

 

“We don’t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.”

-Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor

 

“I don’t feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves”

-John Wayne’s opinion of Native Americans

 

The Roommate

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn’t help noticing how beautiful John’s roommate Julie was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious.

          Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom’s thoughts, John volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates.”

          About a week later, Julie came to John and said, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I can’t find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?”

          John said, “Well, I doubt it, but I’ll write her a letter just to be sure.”

          So he sat down and wrote, “Dear Mother, I’m not saying you ‘did’ take a gravy ladle from my house, and I’m not saying you ‘did not’ take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.”

          Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read, “Dear Son, I’m not saying that you ‘do’ sleep with Julie, and I’m not saying that you ‘do not’ sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom.”